The split is almost half/half? Ross is definitely kinder than Phoebe. I mean, he does so much kind and selfless deeds such as giving Carol away at her lesbian wedding despite hating the whole idea, giving Phoebe her first bike, convincing Rachel that she would be a great mother despite everyone even Phoebe saying she cannot do it, helping Sarah on behalf as being the "cookie dude," the list goes on.
Phoebe however is more mean spirited especially towards Chandler. We are talking about the same Phoebe who deliberately brought a guy (Don) claiming that he is Monica's soulmate despite Monica and Chandler being married to each other. She even called him useless before.