List of Phoebe Buffay's songs

Phoebe Buffay is known for her somewhat dubious musical skills. They became a popular source of entertainment for her friends and other patrons of Central Perk.

Her large array of songs include "Bisexuals", "Su-Su-Suicide", "Sticky Shoes", "Dumb, Drunken Bitch", "Ode to a Pubic Hair (Little Black Curly Hair)", and most famously, "Smelly Cat".

Below is a list of songs either played or mentioned by Phoebe in the show.

List of Songs[]

Sung in the Show[]

Confused Favorite Thing - from "The Pilot"
Love Song - from "The Pilot"
Blackout - from "The One With The Blackout"
Suicide and a Snowman - from "The One With The Monkey"
My Mother's Ashes - from "The One With The Monkey"
My Coma Guy"- from "The One With Mrs. Bing"
Babies - from "The One With The Birth"
They Found Their Bodies - from "The One With The Birth"
Lather, Rinse, Repeat (the Shower Song)- from "The One With The Baby On The Bus"
When I Play - from "The One With The Baby On The Bus"
Double-Jointed Boy - from "The One with the Baby on the Bus"
Stephanie - from "The One with the Baby on the Bus"
Terry's A Jerk - from "The One with the Baby on the Bus"
Smelly Cat - Various episodes; see below
Two of Them Kissed Last Night - from "The One With the List"
The Cow in the Meadow Goes Moo - from "The One After the Superbowl"
Grandma - from "The One After the Superbowl"
That's Another Thing That You Don't Wanna Do - from "The One After the Superbowl"
Bisexuals - from "The One After the Superbowl"
Crusty Old Man - from "The One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies"
Endless Love - from "The One With The Giant Poking Device" (duet sung by her and Chandler after he broke up with Janice)
Sticky Shoes - from "The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner"
Jingle Bitch - from "The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner"
Crazy Underwear - from "The One With Ross' Thing"
Sixty-Six Colors of My Bedroom - from "The One With The Jellyfish"
Dumb, Drunken Bitch - from "The One With The Cat"
My Sticky Shoe - from "The One With Joey's New Girlfriend"
Parading Goats - from "The One With Joey's New Girlfriend"
Papier-mâché Man - from "The One With Joey's New Girlfriend"
Little Tiny Tarzan - from "The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line"
Christmas Song - from "The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie"
Little Fetus - from "The One With The Embryos"
Little Black Curly Hair - from "The One With Ross' Denial"
Two Heart Attacks - from "The One That Could Have Been, Part 2"
Addicted To Pork - from "The One With Monica's Thunder"
First Time I Met Chandler - from "The One With Monica's Thunder"
Whenever I Get Married - from "The One With Monica's Thunder"
We Thought Phoebe Would Leave - from "The One With Monica's Thunder"
Who Will Perform The Ceremony? -from "The One With Monica's Thunder"
Ross Can! - from "The One With Monica's Boots"
Argentina - from "The One With Rachel's Dream"
The Woman Smelled Like Garbage - from "The One With Rachel's Dream"
The Food In Javu - from "The One With Rachel's Dream"
Swedish National Anthem - from "The One With The Fertility Test"
Emma - from "The One With The Cake"
When The Sun Comes Up - from "The Last One"
Don't Let Love Fly Away - from "The Last One"

Mentioned[]

"Su-Su-Suicide" from "The One With The Baby On The Bus"
"Salt Water Taffy Man from "The One With The Chicken Pox"
”Magician Box Mix-Up” from “The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner”
"Pepper People" from "The One With Joey's New Girlfriend"
"Pervert Parade" from "The One With Ross' Inappropriate Song"
"Ode To A Pubic Hair" from "The One With Ross' Inappropriate Song" (possibly referring to "Little Black Curly Hair" from "The One With Ross' Denial")
"You Suck!" from "The One With Rachel's Dream"
"The Ballad of the Uncircumcised Man" from "The One With Rachel's Dream"
"Shut Up and Go Home" from "The One With Rachel's Dream"

Smelly Cat[]

Main article: Smelly Cat

Smelly Cat first appeared in the second season episode "The One With The Baby On The Bus" where it was revealed to be Phoebe's most popular song. At the end of the episode she teaches Stephanie, played by guest star Chrissie Hyde, to play the song. In "The One Where Eddie Moves In" Phoebe makes a professional recording of the song for possible commercial release, though her voice is replaced by a more talented singer. A short video for the song also appeared in this episode and is included in full as a bonus feature on the second season DVD set. In "The One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner" a character played by guest star Elizabeth Daily uses the song as a jingle for a cat litter commercial.

In the fifth season episode "The One With Joey's Bag" Phoebe meets her estranged father, who reveals he sang a lullaby to her when she was a child, called "Sleepy Girl", which has the same melody as Smelly Cat. The "Smelly Cat Medley" track on the Friends Again soundtrack, credited to Phoebe Buffay & The Hairballs (featuring the Pretenders), features a recording of the scene, and then a new, more artistic recording of the duet between Hynde and Phoebe. Hynde then launches into a hard-rock version with new lyrics. The song became so famous that a group of Portuguese comedians had elected Gato Fedorento (Smelly Cat in Portuguese) for their show's name, claiming they were fans of Friends. Also when meeting Mike's parents, she sings it to them during dinner because nobody had spoken in seventeen minutes in "The One With Ross' Inappropriate Song".

Lyrics[]

Main page: Smelly Cat

Smelly cat, Smelly Cat,

What are they feeding you?

Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat,

It's not your fault!

They won't take you to the vet,

You're obviously not their favorite pet,

You may not smell like roses,

You're no friend to those with noses!

My favorite shoes, so good to me,

I wear them every day.

Down at the heel, holes in the toes,

Don't care what people say.

My feet's best friend, pals to the end,

With them I'm one hot chicky,

Though late one night,

Not much light,

I stepped in something icky!

Sticky Shoes, Sticky Shoes,

Always make me smile

Sticky Shoes, Sticky Shoes,

Next time I'll...

Avoid the...

Pile!

Main page: Christmas Song

Went to the store,

Sat on Santa's lap,

Asked him to bring my friends

All kinds of crap.

Santa, all you need is to write them a song.

Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along,

No, don't sing along...

Monica, Monica,

Have a Happy Hanukkah

Saw Santa Claus,

He said hello to Ross.

And please tell Joey,

Christmas will be snowy!!

And Rachel and Chandler,

(mumbles something) handler!

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin',

How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?...

(Advert break)

...my mother's ashes,

Even her eyelashes,

Are resting in a little, yellow jar.

Sometimes when its freezing,

I feel a little sneezy.

And-(see below)

This song was the one being sung when David interrupted, resulting in the abrupt mid sentence ending.

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,

And a guy, let's call him Neil.

Now, I can't stress this point too strongly,

This story isn't real.

Now our Neil must decide

Who will be the girl that he casts aside

Will Betty be the one who he loves truly?

Or will it be the one who we'll call Loolie?

He must decide, he must decide,

Even though I made him up, he must decide...

Love is sweet as summer showers

Love is a wondrous work of art

But your love, oh your love, your love...

Is like a giant pidgeon...

Crapping on my heart

Lalalalalalalala

Ooooh

New York City has no power

And the milk is getting sour

But to me it is not scary

'Cause I stay away from dairy

It wasn't just that she was fat

The woman smelt like garbage!

Are you in there, little fetus?

In nine months, will you come greet us?

I...will...buy you some Adidas...

It is possible that the official title is "Ode to a Pubic Hair".

I found you in my bed!

How'd you wind up there?

You are a mystery!

Little black curly hair!

Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair

I'm in the shower, and i'm writing a song,

Stop me if you've heard it,

My skin is soapy and my hair is wet

And tegrin, spelt backwards, is nirget.

(instrumental)

Lather, rinse, repeat

And lather, rinse, repeat

As needed

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Jingle bitch screwed me over!!

Go to Hell Jingle whore!

Go to Hell! Go to Hell! Go to Hell!

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch

Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much

Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why

And you cry and you cry and you cry

And you cry and you cry...

Parading goats are parading,

Parading down the street.

Parading goats are parading,

Leaving little treats.

And there's a country called Argentina

It's a place I've never seen

But I'm told for fifty pesos

You can buy a human spleeeeen

Human spleen!

Olé!

And the crusty old man

Said I'll do what I can

And the rest of the rats played Maracas!

Whenever I get married

Guess who won't be asked to sing

Somebody named Geller

And somebody else named Bing!

There'll be times when you get older

When you'll want to sleep with people

Just to make them like you...

But don't

Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody

That's another thing that you don't wanna do

The cow in the meadow goes moo

The farmer hits him on the head, and grinds him up

And that's how we get hamburgers

Now chickens!...

Now Grandma's a person that everyone likes

She brought you a train and a bright shiny bike

But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner

And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner

Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru

But the truth is she died and someday you will too

La-la-la-la la-la-la-la

Sometimes men love women

And sometimes men love men

Then there are some bisexuals

Though some just say they're kidding themselves

And fuschia and mauve

Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom

Stephanie knows all the chords...

Terry's a jerk!

And he won't let me work!

And I hate Central Perk!

[A break in the song]

And you're all invited to bite me!

External links[]

Video compilation of most of Phoebe's songs