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"The One With Ross' Thing" is the twenty-third episode of the third season of Friends, which aired on May 1, 1997.


Afflicted with a mysterious skin condition on his backside, Ross seeks advice from Joey and Chandler. Chandler suggests visiting the same doctor that removed his third nipple, while Joey hopes they name this condition "the Ross", after the man who had it condition first. But not even Chandler's doctor can figure out what the thing is-and nor can the two dozen other people he calls in to see the thing on Ross' jacksey. As a last resort, he visits Phoebe's herbalist, Guru Saj, who identifies it as a "kundus" and then successfully but accidentally removes it - by catching it on his watch while making a hand gesture towards him.

"Crazy underwear, creeping up my butt" - Phoebe singing at Central Perk.

Phoebe plays in the field when she starts seeing fireman Vince and kindergarten teacher Jason simultaneously. Phoebe finds Vince great because he's tall, burly and macho, but to her Jason is also great because he's sensitive, which is important to her. She can't bring herself to break up with either of them, but when she finally decides she can only stay with one of them, she goes for Jason. But things take another turn when she announces her decision to Vince, who bursts into tears and goes to write in his journal. This new sensitivity in him is reason enough for Phoebe to break up with Jason, but when she drops off at his apartment, he's in full building mode - and his body is surely well-built enough for Phoebe to keep seeing him. Things get uncomfortable, however, when both of them meet her at the same time in Central Perk. Jason kisses Phoebe, arousing Vince's suspicion. She ends up explaining to both guys how they were not exclusive. Unfortunately, she reveals that she has slept with Vince, which is too much for Jason to handle and he leaves. Vince, however, leaves too when he learns that Phoebe prepared Jason a candlelit dinner in the park - not because of the dinner thing, but it's because he can't be with someone who would "have a flame in the middle of a wooded area". Phoebe ends up as she started - single.

Pete leaves a message to Monica on the phone, saying that they "need to talk". She trans-codes this to "I'm about to break up with you" and feels highly uncomfortable about the message. When she drops off to water Pete's plants (together with the guys), he explains that the news is good news. Joey "accidentally" reads the latest check transactions from Pete, according to which Pete seems to have designed Monica a ring. The guys believe that Pete is proposing to Monica, which although she considers hasty, she believes it might be nice to be married to him. Pete finally takes Monica into his living room, sets the romantic atmosphere, and announces to Monica - that he wants to conquer the physical world. Seeing the quizzical look on her face, Pete explains that he wants to become the Ultimate Fighting Champion, blowing Monica off course.

Cast and Crew

Main Cast

Jennifer Aniston - Rachel Greene
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay
Matt LeBlanc - Joey Tribbiani
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing
David Schwimmer - Ross Geller

Supporting Cast

Jon Favreau - Pete
Kevin McDonald - Guru Saj
Matt Battaglia - Vince
Robert Gant - Jason
Richard Gant - Dr. Rhodes
Carole Goldman - Mrs Becker (credited as woman)
Douglas Looper - Fireman (credited as Doug Looper)
James Michael Tyler - Gunther


Directed By:
Shelley Jensen

Written By:
Ted Cohen & Andrew Reich


Joey: Hey, wouldn't it be cool if our duck and our chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Chandler: Or Dick.


  • At the beginning when Ross shows his "thing" to Chandler and Joey, his underwear visibly has a pattern with dinosaurs. Earlier in this season he wears a watch is also dinosaur-themed with a dinosaur tail as the seconds hand.
  • When Monica answers Pete's videophone, the "graphical transmission" of Pete's directed call appears to move, even though the shot has stopped moving.
  • While Ross is bending over to show Joey and Chandler his thing, Rachel walks in. She's stunned and hastily leaves.
  • Spoiler: when the gang thinks Pete is going to propose to Monica, Ross is the only one who expresses his disagreement on the idea of Monica marrying someone who she has been dating for two weeks. Later on in the next season, he actually marries someone who he had been dating for six weeks. Rachel proposes to Joshua after they've been on just 4 dates in "The One With All The Wedding Dresses" although this was because she was upset by Ross' engagement. Ross and Rachel's remarriage after the series finale takes place between May and September 2004 as they're already married when Joey moves to L.A. However Ross and Rachel have known each other for years, have a child together and were married previously.
  • The second doctor Ross sees invites two other people in to see Ross' "thing." However, a doctor must get a patient's consent to bring in other people, even if it is for a consult. This is a rule in the HIPPA guidelines to protect a patient's privacy and the doctor would likely face either a lawsuit or termination of his job. At the time, this HIPPA guideline was not in effect yet.
  • At the beginning of this episode Phoebe declares that she is "sowing her wild oats" which is the same thing that Monica accuses Richard of when the couple are discussing the number of people they have been with in a previous episode.
  • When Ross is talking to Joey and Chandler in the coffeehouse, a group of three extras enter of whom one appears to be a stand-in for Courteney Cox.
  • The two actors portraying Vince and Jason in this episode have both appeared on another TV series that aired on Showtime called "Queer as Folk".


  • When Guru Saj tells Ross his "kundus" must be removed with love, there is a pause between Ross mouthing "Oh God" and actually hearing it.
  • In the final scene, when Chandler and Joey are with the duck, Chandler's right hand is on the duck. In the next shot, his hands are together.
  • The second doctor's actor has a really hard time getting his gloves on when first getting ready to examine Ross' thing. He eventually gives up on putting them on correctly.
  • When Monica gets up to get more pumpkin pie, Rachel starts laughing but in the next shot she's looking serious.
  • Monica's second piece of pie changes appearance between shots.
  • Guru Saj doesn't actually apply any cream to Ross' thing.
  • When the gang hides from Pete, Rachel falls behind the arm of the sofa, level with Joey. However when she stands up she's nearer to the bookcase. When she falls on the floor, it looks like she starts to crawl towards the bookcase. Presumably it was intended that this would be out of shot.
  • The noise of the fire starting in the car is heard before the flames appear.
  • When Pete and Monica are talking in his apartment, her wrap changes position between shots.


External links

Episode Navigation

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Preceded by
"The One With The Screamer"
Series Three Episodes Followed by
"The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion"