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"The One With The Fertility Test" is the twenty-first episode of season nine of Friends. It aired on May 1, 2003.


Rachel receives a gift certificate to get a free massage at a chain massage center, which Phoebe doesn't want her to take advantage of as she feels it takes away business from independent massage therapists like herself. What Phoebe doesn't tell Rachel is that she's one of the employees at the very same massage center. However, she has a hard time concealing her identity to Rachel, her client, during her massage. Unfortunately for Phoebe, Rachel recognizes her as her masseuse due to seeing Phoebe's new shoes which she showed her earlier. She tries to avoid this by pretending she was Swedish and even had a Swedish accent. Rachel tries to embarrass Phoebe once she knew about her true identity, asking her questions about Sweden, which Phoebe lies about.

Joey's having a great time with Charlie, who is new to the city. She asks him to show her around, but the places she wants to visit make Joey's tour impossible for him, as she wants to visit museums about which he knows pretty much nothing. He asks Ross to help him with the tour, and he actually memorizes a script of the most important works of art. The tour works great, except that Joey takes the left path instead of the right and talks to Charlie about paintings which are not present. Ross explains to Charlie that Joey did this because he's crazy about her and he thinks it's important to her.

Monica and Chandler, who have been trying to have a baby for a year with no success, decide to go to a fertility study. The couple meet Janice, who Chandler talks to after "depositing his specimen". Although Chandler is quite sure that everything is all right with him and Monica, he's still nervous about the results. Later, he receives a call from Dr. Connelly, who explains the truth - due to the low motility of Chandler's sperm and Monica's inhospitable environment (uterus), the two are very unlikely to conceive kids naturally. Although both very upset, Monica and Chandler resolve to find another way to have kids.

Cast and Crew

Main Cast

Jennifer Aniston - Rachel Greene
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay
Matt LeBlanc - Joey Tribbiani
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing
David Schwimmer - Ross Geller

Supporting Cast

Debra Azar - Tara (the spa receptionist)
Myra Turley - Nurse
Aisha Tyler - Charlie Wheeler
Maggie Wheeler - Janice Litman Goralnik


Directed By:
Gary Halvorson

Written By:
Scott Silveri & Robert Carlock



  • Magna Doodle: "Happy Birthday Gizzy 5.1.91" with a drawing of what appears to be a dog with a fuzzy face.
  • When this episode originally aired on NBC, it was "super-sized" to 27 minutes, not including ad breaks.
    • The DVDs present these episodes as first aired, however, the Blu-ray presents them in their edited syndicated cuts (though the original super-sized versions are available as a special feature).
    • As a result, the transition from one scene to another suffers when the episode is edited to 22 minutes.
  • When Ross describes the layout of the Met to Joey, it is mostly true to the real layout. The Egyptian exhibits are indeed directly to the right upon entering the Museum's great hall. The Mesopotamian exhibit however, is located up the grand staircase and to the left.
  • Monica and Chandler discover that they can't have kids. This is why Courteney's real pregnancy towards the end of next season couldn't be accounted for in the episodes.
  • Jennifer Aniston is wearing a bandage on her left wrist.
  • Ikea, the name Phoebe uses when she tries to trick Rachel, is actually banned in Sweden because it's the name of a popular Swedish furnishings store.
  • Chandler mentions barcaloungers. Chandler and Joey owned a pair of these but were broken while Rachel lived with Joey in "The One Where Rosita Dies".


  • Monica tells Chandler that they have been trying to have a baby for over a year. They started trying the day that Emma was born, but they don't celebrate Emma's first birthday until "The One With The Cake" in Season 10.
  • While Phoebe is massaging Rachel (as Ikea) she calls Rachel "a high maintenance tight-ass" but in "The One With The Joke" in season 6, the girls' storyline revolves around Phoebe picking Rachel over Monica as her hypothetical girlfriend because Rachel is more easy going while Monica is too high maintenance. Then again, the episode also determined that Phoebe is flaky and will say anything.
  • When Charlie is explaining to Joey what she had done all day, the wine glass switches from her hand to being on the table next to her between shots.
  • When Monica asks Rachel "Why do you care so much?" Rachel's hands' positions change.
  • When Ross begins suggesting places where Joey could take Charlie, his right arm is on the couch's arm. In the next take, his both arms are together.
  • Chandler mentions Monica's class trip to the Hershey Factory. Hershey Factory tours ended in 1973 when Chocolate World was opened giving simulated factory tours on an automated ride. Monica wouldn't have been old enough to go to the factory on a class trip.
  • The episode opens with the gang talking about Joey kissing Charlie at the party "last night". However, the end of the previous episode showed Chandler tricking Monica and Phoebe into attending the one woman theater show. Monica and Phoebe are wearing different clothes, so they must have attended this after the first scene of this episode, but it is never mentioned again.
  • When Ross begins talking with Charlie after her museum date, the book 'A Guide to New York' mysteriously appears in his hands, then disappears, reappears and finally disappears again as Charlie and Joey leave.
  • After Rachel tells Phoebe "but I'm still going hunting" she starts to turn towards Monica but in the next shot Rachel's starting to turn again.

External links

Episode Navigation

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Preceded by
"The One With The Soap Opera Party"
Series Nine Episodes Followed by
"The One With The Donor"