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The One With The List

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"The One With The List" is the eighth episode of the second season of Friends, which aired on November 16, 1995. In this episode, Rachel makes a painful discovery concerning Ross. Monica's new boss gives her an impossible task.

Plot[]

Rachel and Ross tell the girls and the guys respectively of their kiss. Rachel thinks it was absolutely amazing, while Ross is still torn between her and Julie. Chandler tries to help him out with choosing one of Rachel and Julie by printing a list of flaws each of them have from his new computer. Ross lists every flaw he could think of Rachel - describing her as "spoiled, ditzy, too into her looks, and just a waitress" - but when he comes to Julie, all he can manage to point out is: "She's not Rachel". Chandler is unable to print the list and phones the computer company to complain about it.

Monica has a job interview, for which she has to produce a number of recipes using Mockolate, a synthetic chocolate substitute which they hope to capitalize for Thanksgiving. Monica finds difficulty integrating the disgusting ingredient in good recipes, but she tries to do so anyway. This fails as Rachel and Phoebe are disgusted from eating the Mockolate, and Phoebe describes it as "what evil must taste like." Monica presents her recipes to the interviewer, who sadly informs her that the FDA approval for Mockolate didn't arrive, but gives her a check for her efforts anyway. He does, however, ask her if she experienced any side effects from eating Mockolate, including any burning sensation while peeing.

Ross manages to break up with Julie, having set his heart on Rachel. Rachel enters and asks Ross what's happening. With Joey's help, Ross finally gets with Rachel. He leaves the room to grab her coat. But while he is gone, Rachel sees the list on Chandler's computer and asks what it is, prompting Chandler to rush over and hide the screen from her. Even worse, the printer finally manages to spit out the list after failing to print it earlier. Rachel manages to obtain the list from the guys and reads her flaws out loud. Devastated and hurt, she demands an explanation from Ross, who can't seem to put words together to explain everything to her. She is not consoled by Julie's only flaw ("She's not Rachem" - a typographical error by Chandler).

Ross makes several more attempts to apologize to Rachel, even climbing up the fire escape to the balcony outside her window in the pouring rain to read her pros list, but she doesn't want to hear a word. Ross tells her that if it were her who made the list, nothing she could write would stop him from wanting to be with her. She replies that she would have never been so cruel as to make such a list. Ross dedicates a song to Rachel over the radio in a last desperate attempt at apologizing, but Rachel calls the radio station to tell the DJ what Ross did. This causes the DJ to stop playing Ross' song halfway, describing Ross' action as "pretty appalling."

Monica meets her interviewer again, this time to be introduced to Fishtachios - pistachios of reconstituted fish bits. The interviewer asks if she's allergic to anything, and when Monica mentions her allergy to cat hair he decides she shouldn't try any.

Cast and Crew[]

Main Cast[]

Jennifer Aniston - Rachel Greene
Courteney Cox - Monica Geller
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay
Matt LeBlanc - Joey Tribbiani
Matthew Perry - Chandler Bing
David Schwimmer - Ross Geller

Supporting Cast[]

Michael McKean - Mr. Rastatter
James Michael Tyler - Gunther (uncredited)
Lauren Tom - Julie

Crew[]

Directed By:
Mary Kay Place

Written By:
David Crane & Marta Kauffman

Quotes[]

  • Rachel: Ross kissed me.
    Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
    Rachel: It was unbelievable!
    Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
    Phoebe: Okay, all right, we want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
    Rachel: Oh, it ended very well.
    Phoebe: Oh.
    Monica: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
    Phoebe: Okay, alright, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like... was it like, a soft brush against your lips or was it like a, you know, "I gotta have you now" kinda thing?
    Rachel: Well, at first it was really intense, you know, and then... oh, god, and then we just sorta sunk into it.
    Phoebe: OK, so, OK, was he like holding you or was his hand, like, on your back?
    Rachel: No, actually first they started out on my waist... and then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
    Phoebe and Monica: Ohh...
    [Meanwhile, Ross is telling Chandler and Joey about his kiss with Rachel at their apartment while eating pizza]
    Ross: And, uh, then I kissed her.
    Joey: Tongue?
    Ross: Yeah.
    Joey: Cool.
  • Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
    Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
    Chandler: Games and stuff.
  • Ross: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
    Chandler: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"
  • Chandler: [after doing a list of Rachel's pros and cons] OK, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
    Ross: She's not Rachel.
  • [Phoebe has a taste of "Mockolate"]
    Phoebe: Oh, sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
  • Rachel: Ross! Chandler wrote something about me on his computer and he won't let me see!
    Ross: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't. Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story, you were writing?
    Chandler: Yes, yes it is, short story... that I was writing.
    Rachel: And I'm in it? Then, let me read it!
    Ross, Chandler and Joey: NO.
    Rachel: Come ON!
    Joey: Hey, uh, why don't you read it... to her?
    Chandler: All right! Uh... It was summer... and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely grey couch. "Oh, look!", cried Ned. And then, the kingdom was his forever. THE END.
    Ross: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world!
  • [Rachel confronts Ross about the list]
    Ross: Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
    Rachel: [Reads] "She is not Rachem"? What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some paleontology word that I wouldn't know about because I'm just a waitress?
  • Chandler: Let's get some perspective, here! Okay? These things, they happen for a reason!
    Monica: Yeah: YOU!

Trivia[]

General[]

  • This episode serves as the Thanksgiving episode of the year, but deviates from the tradition of the bottle episode focused on the six main characters.
    • NBC told the show producers they wanted all the Thursday shows to have a Thanksgiving episode. The writers added the Mockolate storyline to meet the Thanksgiving guidelines, where Monica tries to incorporate Mockolate in Thanksgiving recipes.
    • The commentary for the episode explains that the Mockolate was in reality just ordinary chocolate.
    • Ironically, this is the only Friends season not to feature a dedicated Thanksgiving episode.
  • A break up scene was written for Ross and Julie. The writers decided not to use it because they feared the audience would side with Ross and Julie rather than with Ross and Rachel.
  • When playing a song after Ross' desperate song dedication, the radio DJ says: "Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car." Avery Michelle is Marta Kauffman's goddaughter. Allegedly, her parents are the source of inspiration for the characters of Carol and Susan.
  • This episode marks the first time that Ross breaks up with his (current) girlfriend, in order to be with Rachel (In this case it's Julie). In "The One With The Jellyfish", he breaks up with Bonnie. However in both instances, Ross and Rachel end up arguing and they don't get together anyway.
  • Many years later Joey would write a list of cons for dating Rachel but unlike in this episode, Rachel doesn't find out about it. That list only contained a single "con", switching to light mayo, which Joey actually liked.
  • The song Ross requests the DJ plays is "With or Without You" by U2. This is also the song played when Ross kisses Chloe in "The One Where Ross & Rachel Take A Break". Rachel also includes it in the list of songs she was going to include in a mixed tape for Ross in "The One With All The Kissing".
  • The producers wanted to use U2's "With or Without You" as the background clip for Ross and Rachel's kiss in "The One Where Ross Finds Out", however, there wasn't enough time for them to arrange for the necessary rights. Instead of the song, a studio clip similar to the band's playing style was used.
  • Chandler's laptop computer, with a color screen, 12 megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive and a 28K modem was very high end in 1995 when the episode was aired. 20 years later, mid- to high-end laptops have routinely 1000 times more RAM and disk space, and 2000 to 20000 faster data connections. (The laptop would be stolen later in "The One With The Cat".)
  • As Monica cannot find work as a chef, Joey asks her if she would cook naked. As we learned in "The One With The Evil Orthodontist", Joey cooks naked but nothing that spatters.
  • Monica acts pretty disgruntled by the thought that Ross made the list about Rachel, when she, Phoebe, Chandler and Joey were discussing the events in the coffeehouse. But later in "The One With The Proposal, Part 1" (S6), Monica advises Ross to do the same when he was contemplating breaking up with Elizabeth. She says "Why don't you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean that's what I did when I first started (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff."
  • The DJ on the radio[according to IMDB] is Karen Sharp who works at radio station KOST 103.5 in L.A.
  • The similar storyline featuring the list of pros and cons was featured in the 2004 film Along Came Polly, in which Jennifer Aniston was cast as the title character, with her character being the subject of the list.
  • The line 'Oh, sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!' was originally different. It was initially 'These are the cookies they make in Hell'. The commentary states this and Lisa can be heard trying to say it without laughing on the season 2 blooper/gag reel.

Goofs[]

  • Phoebe tells Monica to grab some wine and unplug the phone but she doesn't unplug the phone.
  • The Nick @ Nite TV version cuts out the entire coffeehouse scene in the 2nd half of the show when they[the gang minus Ross] find out that the list was Chandler's doing.
  • Ross' hair was styled differently in the opening scene despite it taking place on the same night as the previous episode.
  • When Ross comes in after getting completely drenched by the rain, he's soaking wet in one scene, then completely dry in the next, then damp in the next. His hair also changes throughout the entire scene.
  • When Julie arrives at Central Perk, as she hugs Ross, she can be seen looking directly at the camera.
  • In the opening scene, when Rachel is telling Monica and Phoebe about the kiss, we can see the set lights reflected in the television behind her.

Gallery[]

Screenshots[]

External links[]

Episode Navigation[]

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24
Preceded by
"The One Where Ross Finds Out" 		"The One With The List" Followed by
"The One With Phoebe's Dad"
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